My father passed away a few years ago. And for about 3 years after that, I was searching.

Not dramatically. Not in a way anyone around me would have noticed. I kept showing up, kept being mom, kept running things. But underneath, I was quietly asking: what is this all for? What am I actually here to do?

That's how Bling Pens started, actually. I began making decorative pens with gems while my dad was still ill - I needed something with my hands, something small and joyful, something that would spread a little light when everything felt heavy. After he passed, the pens kept me going. But I knew it wasn't my next chapter. It was a placeholder while I figured out what was.

So I kept searching. I tried things. I read things. I followed breadcrumbs.

And then Human Design kept showing up. Not once, not twice - it was like how Harry Potter kept receiving his Hogwarts letters. The Universe kept sending this thing to me from different directions until I finally said, ok ok, I get it. Let me look at this properly.

The day I got my Human Design chart, I felt something I hadn't expected. Not confusion. Not scepticism. Relief.

Finally - something that could explain parts of me that didn't quite fit in the world, but were very, very me.

So What Actually Is Human Design?

I used to think it was another personality test. Another box to sort myself into. I was used to the idea of a framework spitting out a label and telling me what I was like.

Human Design is different. It doesn't feel like a box. It feels like a map.

Here's the plain English version: Human Design synthesises 4 ancient wisdom systems - astrology, the I Ching, the Kabbalah, and the chakra system - and combines them with your exact birth data (date, time, and place of birth). The result is a chart that's specific to you. Not to your sun sign. Not to a category of people born in the same decade. To you.

From that chart, there are 4 key things to understand about yourself:

Type - There are 5 Types in Human Design (Manifestor, Generator, Manifesting Generator, Projector, and Reflector). Your Type tells you something fundamental about how your energy works and how you're designed to move through the world. I'm a Projector, which means I'm not built for endless output. I'm built for wisdom, guidance, and strategic input - and I need more rest than most.

Authority - This is your inner decision-making compass. Some people have Emotional Authority, meaning big decisions genuinely need time and emotional processing before clarity comes. Others have Splenic Authority (like me), which is an instinctive, in-the-moment knowing. Understanding your Authority is probably the most immediately useful thing in the whole system, cos it tells you how to make decisions you won't regret.

Profile - Think of this as your role in the world - the way you're designed to learn and contribute. I'm a 6/2, which explains why I went through years of trial and error (that's the 3-line influence) before stepping into a more mentor-like chapter.

Centres - Your chart shows 9 energy centres, and each one is either Defined (consistent, reliable energy) or Open (where you absorb and amplify the energy around you). Open Centres are where a lot of our conditioning lives - where we've spent years trying to be something we're not, to meet expectations that were never ours to meet.

You don't need to master all of this at once. Start with Type and Authority. Those two alone can shift something.

The "Shoulds" That Motherhood Comes With

Before I found Human Design, I was drowning in shoulds.

Be consistent. Be patient. Be productive. Be available. Be present. Don't complain. Keep going. Push through. Show up. Do more.

And the ones nobody says out loud but every mom feels: don't need too much. Don't rest too long. Don't take up too much space with your own feelings. Don't let your own needs inconvenience anyone.

Sound familiar??

The thing about these shoulds is that they don't arrive with labels. They sneak in. Through the way your own mom parented. Through what your school friends' moms looked like. Through the content you scroll past that shows someone else doing it all with a smile. Through the version of yourself you decided you should be back when you were 22 and didn't know any better.

By the time you're in the thick of motherhood and business and partnership and everything else, the shoulds have been running in the background so long you can't even tell which ones are yours anymore.

Human Design asks a different question: what if the "should" was never yours to begin with?

Some of us genuinely need more rest than others. Not because we're lazy - because our Type is not designed for non-stop output. Some of us make terrible decisions when we're rushed, not because we're indecisive, but because our Authority needs time or quiet or sleep before clarity arrives. Some of us do our best thinking alone, and some of us genuinely need to talk things through out loud to access what we know.

These aren't character flaws. They're design features.

When I learnt I was a Splenic Projector, I stopped trying to be a Generator. I stopped pushing myself to keep producing when my body was signalling it needed to stop. I started saying no to invitations that my gut immediately resisted, even when I couldn't explain why. I started building rest into my week without guilt - not as a luxury, but as a requirement for actually functioning.

That's not laziness. That's alignment.

And for mothers especially - who are conditioned from the very moment they hold their child to put themselves last - learning that your design has specific needs that matter, that honouring them actually makes you more effective and more present, not less... that is a reframe that changes things.

What It Isn't (This Bit Matters)

Because I know some of you are reading this and thinking: this sounds a bit woo-woo. Or: is this another thing that's going to tell me I can't do certain things?

Here's what I want you to know.

Human Design isn't another box to sort yourself into. Yes, there are Types and Authorities and Profiles - but none of them are ceilings. They don't tell you what you can't do. They point you toward where your energy flows most naturally, and where you're most likely to burn out when you ignore it.

It's not a rigid system to follow to the letter either. If something in your chart doesn't resonate, you don't have to take it. Use what helps. Leave what doesn't. The goal isn't compliance - it's clarity.

What it IS: a framework for self-compassion and smarter decision-making. A way to stop fighting yourself. A way to recognise when you're living by someone else's rulebook - and give yourself permission to put it down.

Reading my chart for the first time felt like someone had written me a love letter. Not a flattering one, not a perfect picture - but an honest, warm, deeply familiar one. Like someone had seen the parts of me I kept hidden, even from myself, and said: this is fine. This is you. This was always you.

And you know, it felt like coming full circle. Coming back to something that was always there - the parts of myself I'd been taught to push down, rush past, apologise for, or explain away.

Motherhood does something strange to your sense of self. You give so much, for so long, to so many people, that one day you look up and realise you've lost the thread back to yourself. Not in a dramatic way. Just quietly. Gradually. The way a path grows over when nobody walks it for a while.

Human Design gave me a way back to that path.

If you've been feeling like you've been living by a rulebook that doesn't quite fit - if you've been tired in a way that sleep doesn't fix - if you've been wondering whether the version of yourself you're performing every day is actually you - maybe this is worth a look.

Coming home to yourself is not selfish. For a mother, I'd argue it's the bravest thing you can do.

Where to Start

If you're curious, start simple. Don't try to absorb everything at once.

Start with your Type. Read about what it means. Sit with it. Notice whether it resonates.

Then look up your Authority. This one is immediately actionable - it tells you how to make decisions. Just that one piece can save you months of second-guessing and regret.

Leave the rest. Seriously. Human Design is a deep system. You could spend years studying it. But one insight actually applied is worth more than a hundred understood in theory and sitting on a shelf.

My free Burnout Buster Cheat Sheet is built around Human Design and will walk you through your type and what it means for your energy - without the overwhelm of a full chart. A good place to begin.